Discernment Counseling

The relationship is on the brink of ending.

You don’t think you can do this anymore. You’ve been unhappy for so long, and nothing you’ve tried seems to change anything. Your hope meter is hovering right around 2%.

But you’re not sure you’re ready to walk away. There’s such a history.

There are the kids to consider, the life you’ve built together, and finances.

This decision is significant and life-altering, and you want to be sure (or as sure as you can be).

Discernment Counseling helps couples on the brink of divorce.

Discernment Counseling allows you to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your relationship.

The goal is for both partners to gain clarity and confidence about a direction based on a deeper understanding of their relationship and its possibilities for the future.

This form of counseling is a short-term, session-by-session approach to help you reach a decision. The goal of Discernment Counseling is not to solve your relationship problems (that would be the work of couples counseling); instead, the goal is to see if your problems are solvable and if there is enough desire to stay in the relationship to commit to that work.

Here’s how Discernment Counseling works.

Each session starts with a short check-in together. Then, we move into 30-40 minutes each of individual time with your therapist, where the conversation will focus on where you are currently in your discernment process about your relationship.

If you’re unsure about whether to try to stay in the relationship, we’ll talk about things like money, kids, or whatever the areas of concern are for you. We’ll talk about what you would need to give your relationship a solid try with couples counseling or how you know if you’re ready to walk away.

You’ll have a safe space to discuss and explore all the different questions and feelings about this decision. Suppose you are a partner who does not want the relationship to end. In that case, your time will be one of listening and supporting the difficulties of what is happening and discussing how to care for yourself and your partner during this time of discernment.

For both partners, we emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. We end with a brief check-out, allowing you to share something (if desired) from your time and see if you have reached a decision or if we should schedule another discernment session.

Give some time to assess the issues.

Discernment Counseling helps partners conceptualize the issues. The process gives you time to discuss what has happened to contemplate divorce and to identify the problems pulling you apart.

There is a lot at stake, and committing time to consider the reasons for divorce can help you make the right decision.

For more information about Discernment Counseling, please get in touch with us. We are here to help you through the decision-making process.